Thursday, March 29, 2012

Some Days

Shall I just slit my wrist so you can watch me bleed?

It's been one of those days. I work for a company where I believe in what we do and what our product is, sooooo very much. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop people from being obscenely human, wanting to slit you open just to see you bleed. Then act as if it's my job to let them do it.

Yes, it's been a really bad day and I've got a bad attitude about it.

The thing that really sucks is that I'm trapped. Even if I wanted to leave, I can't. I can't move because my husband doesn't want to and because very little money or time has been spent on keeping up our house and it would need significant work to sell it. And he doesn't have a job, so I can't just change jobs unless I make at least as much as I do now, preferably a little more. Since we can't seem to cut some of the perks we're accustomed to there's no extra cushion for anything. No savings either. That would make too much sense.

I can't get a job I love because I don't have the credentials to get one let alone be able to move to another state if I did get one. It seems all the jobs that sound like something I could enjoy are out of state. Anyone want to hire me to work remotely?

Then there's that glass ceiling that's never going to break open until there are no men left to promote. Go millennials! I guess the millennial guys are ditching the corporate scene and leaving it to the girls who have been told that's what they should want by women too busy trying to crack the glass ceiling to see that it sucks up there. I'm wondering what the guys are doing. Starting small businesses, sitting on the couch letting their girlfriend pay the bills? Who knows.

Anyway, the only way I'm going to get out of this job is if my boss falls dead and I get her job or.........I'm not going to go there.

I'm reading a book about a map thief. I guess when he was in high school he created false identities for fun and then realized he could use them to get free money by getting loans and credit cards with them. He did get caught for that, but I was intrigued by the idea of creating a false identity and just disappearing.

I guess you go find the name of someone who was born around the same time as yourself and died as a baby. You get a copy of their birth certificate and start building a life around it. There's got to be limitations to that. Do they check for a death certificate if you apply for a passport? Just to make sure you're not an identity theif? If not, that would be sweet. You could get a passport, get out of the country, create a new identity in your new location and start a completely new life. Talk about anonymous.

Yeah, it's just crazy talk. I'm too responsible and not brave enough to even try.

So I guess I'm back where I started. Is it Friday yet?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


If following dreams was easy, everybody would do it. Dealing with the naysayers and difficulties is simply a natural part of doing something extraordinary.
~ Angela Fornelli

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


I have a calendar that has photos of children from developing countries around the world. For each month is a single word that is a childlike quality that God calls for me to have in my own life.

This month it's "eager." As I looked at the photos of our two sponsored boys I saw eagerness in their smiles. It took awhile to get it there but I sincerely hope that my own eagerness in our letters to them and our commitment to their well being helped give that to them. I know that their letters to me and their smiling faces remind me to be eager for what God has next for all our lives.

Hope for Haiti in a Native Son

If Haiti is to rise from the depths it has sunk, that ability will ultimately have to come from its own people. No country can change for the better with only outsiders trying to facilitate change. But, sadly, most of those with a better vision for Haiti have no access to the hope and resources it takes to change a country.

So, when Beguen Theus was elected to Haiti's parliament, a lot of people got a ray of hope. Let's join them in that hope; that a native son can make enough change happen to give more Haitians hope and the courage to take action with the resources they have.

He has risen from poverty himself with the assistance and encouragement of a Compassion sponsor. Someone who believed in his value as a human being and his potential as a citizen of his country.

It's not easy though. There are still too many in power more interested in that power and the perks and money that comes with it than in helping their nation rise from the rubble and ashes of the earthquake and of devastating poverty.